Seriously, what you gives you the right? Just because your little world will be harder to take with more of us around, you think you can just go around chopping and slicing left and right? Oh, sure, I’ll bet you’re trying to control population so more of us don’t end up starving on the street corner or getting squashed by Mack trucks in underpasses and eaten by the homeless. Thanks, way to be progressive. How the heck are we ever going to reach species equality if you’re still snatching our bits left and right and denying us the choice to create more of ourselves should we so choose?
OK, granted, if I had the chance, I’d go out and try to "forward my family line" with every good looking Tortie I could find. Sorry, it’s just the instinct. But that’s never going to happen. Ever. You know how that feels? To never be able to reach your full potential, to fulfill your evolutionary purpose? I have some really novel ideas, and I’m sure my many mates would be just as brilliant - think of the litter of mewing Einsteins we could have spawned!
So, I guess you guys get to go out and mattress dance your way into overpopulation all day long? Maybe you oughta think about snipping of few of your own fellow monkeys to keep ‘em from weighing down the planet - start with the Cat Show People, they need a break, if you know what I mean. Then move on to the ones who still buy cheese in a compressed can who are not Pauly Shore.
Not to rant, but let’s face facts - I lost my Tom Cat potential the moment you picked me out of the pound and handed me over to the Oyster Butcher. When was I going to be consulted on this? What if I had explained my side of the story, or pointed out the hypocrisy of the situation? I could lodge a complaint to my local senator, or hire an attorney. The Case: the Los Angeles City Pound vs. Merlin’s Cajones.
Be sure of one thing, population slicers: when the tables turn and you guys are at the end of the leash, we’re gonna go medieval on your Homo Sapien asses. You can carry your equipment home in a doggy bag, or you can hire a doggy to carry ‘em for you for 100 Gato Diram or Bastet Bucks - we’re going to at least give them a chance to appeal to the courts why more dogs is in anybody’s best interest. Muttnik again, anybody?
R.I.P. my fallen soldiers - may we be reunited again at the paws of the Great Whisker.
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