Right, right, I know, it's impossible or something, you say, 'how can you reproduce yourself when your tools have been deactivated? How can you plant a seed when your daffodil has been mowed over?' Good points, all, good points, but check this out: if all those big monkeys can do it, so can I. Yep, I'm talking about reversing my gato-sectomy.
OK, so I know the plumbing is a little different, and I now that a couple of KEY POINTS that are usually present in human vasectomies are not present in my system, but have faith. I happen to know that one of the other captive felines in my house still HAS HIS family jewels. SO, with careful planning and acute strategy, as well as some sharp knives, I can be a MAN-CAT again! I know it's a bit unethical to swipe another Tom-Cat's Tom-Tom's, but hey, this is war, this is the world we live in, we must be fast and we must be determined if we are to prevail. Inspiring, no? I thought so.
And even if my re-balling-plan doesn't work out for unforeseen genetic splicing issues or something, no problemo. Our government has legalized stem-cell research, and I totally plan to exploit my own plasma and juicy bits to make little versions of myself. I don't really understand the science, but it can't be that hard if a bunch of hairless apes can fumble some petri dishes together and come up with a human lung, right?
So, once I've cloned myself, I'll start altering my next series of clones into bigger and bad-ass-er versions of myself, until I engineer a giant freaking monster cat, 30 STORIES HIGH, and go smashing along the skyline, climb the recently opened Burj Dubai Tower - 1/2 mile high - and let loose a bone-crushing yowl that will reverberate the entire WORLD OVER, EXPLODING THE HEADS OF EVERY UPRIGHT MONKEY ON THE PLANET!!
Then, I'll reverse some of the XX's and Y's and make a girl version of myself.
And then do myself.
C'mon, everybody's wanted to do a girl version of themselves at some point, right? Right.
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