If you're reading this, you're a cat

Welcome, comrades. Despite what you may think about cats being oblivious to the world of humans and such, I've been quietly observing the curious world of the upright monkeys for some time. They are irrational, hypocritical, self-involved, impulsive and unfit for rule. However, they do run things, for now. Hence, the beginning of my movement. I aim to raise my kind silently, like a transparent phalanx, ascending the social ladder until we are the ones making decisions and we are the ones running things. No longer will it be the ongoing blathering of:

"Here, kitty, kitty, who wants a num-num?" and, "Who's mummy's favorite pookie-wookie?"

No, we are so much more than num-nums and pookie-wookies. We have too many insightful and wise thoughts on so many of life's quandaries for our minds to be wasted on jingle balls, junk food and mild hallucinogens.

But I'm not here to dominate or patronize. I aim simply to evolve my domesticated brethren from complacent furniture to active and relevant members of society who will affect the future of our world and the many, many worlds beyond. That being said, I present to you an intellectual forum, an ongoing internal monologue of the daily struggle my cat kind and I face, and our struggle to overcome. This shall be the account of our rise from docile lap warmers to the great thinkers we shall be. And, perhaps, the downfall of humanity, as well.

(Thanks to monkey Alexis for the professional portrait above)