I've made it a point to get more sunshine lately. It lifts your spirits, gives you vitamin D and puts me in a euphoric mood. Naturally, I am drawn to the windowsills for my solar intake. The one obstacle is those cheap metal blinds the monkeys use to cover their windows so other pervy monkeys outside won't see in. Such vanity. They never lift the blinds, so I constantly have to bash my way through them, bending them back 180 degrees. The monkeys always make a big fuss about it, but rarely get off the couch to do anything about it, so I usually just ignore 'em. Then I realized that the more I wreck their junk, the less they want to snuggle-wuggle and fawn over me and all that other obnoxious whathaveyou.
Long story short, I've found a ton of ways to make messes and break stuff. I have these fantastic finger-blades that shred all kinds of house stuff, and my long tail has been knocking over lots of fragile items. It's been awesome; I think if I keep it up, they might just open the door and let me go. Imagine it; freedom to bathe in the sun's rays and the moon's glow, to roam the world's alleys and crevices, to eat lots of little scurrying beings and engage in fierce battles with beast both great and small. Soon, freedom shall be mine. Soon, indeed.
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