As we all know, there will come a time when we will need to depart our dear planet. A time, after all the human monkeys are sterilized and in zoos, and we have grown to such a powerful and populous feline metropolis that our mother planet can no longer sustain us. It shall be necessary for the best and brightest minds to engineer interplanetary traveling machines to send the most intrepid and adventurous citizens out to locate the next cat planet. It may sound futuristic, but I assure you, the day of the catastronaut is dawning. For this purpose, I would like to volunteer as the first catastronaut; I am aware that, like the first NASA test monkeys, I will be subjected to intense situations and dangerous outer space unknowns, but I'm ready.
At night, I dream of blasting through nebulas and soaring along meteor fields, deftly sashaying from planet to planet with the greatest of ease. I want to catalogue (ignore pun, please) the farthest reaches of our existence, even crossing over to the other infinite dimensions to brave the unfathomable mystery. And who knows, perhaps there is an entire cat dimension?? A dimension solely inhabited by our feline brothers and sisters, every planet and every star system rife with furry life, living in a utopian bliss so magical and free. This is what drives me to be a catastronaut; the promise of a better future, the opportunity to elevate our kind, and the taste of adventure.
Join me, if you will, and we can start meeting the first Wednesday of every month in the alley behind the little red Taco shop on Glendale for planning and discussion. Those who are not free to roam can log on to our digital chat room to participate remotely. Donations can be made to the Feline Space Association's website, www.spacewhiskers.com. Together, we can make a difference for our future, and the future of our kitten's kitten's kittens.
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